Poetry

So, in my creative writing class we have been learning how to write poetry. I'm not sure how good I am at it yet, but I love it! There is something so simple and profound in finding single words that can say a lot. My first poem is in iambic tetrameter and it's called A Daughter's Dance. The second is free verse, called Tune of the Departing. They both deal with death... which doesn't sound like me at all... Anyway, enjoy! Any comments or editorial suggestions would be wonderful!
A Daughter’s Dance

She flies across the wooden sea
Her little hands move lithe and free
A graceful step, your wings descend
How could we know your dance would end?
Our eyes were yours to keep until
Beneath the stage, your dance was still.

And now she flies on a stage of white
Her turns are flawless, her face alight.
Where once we watched and guarded you
We feel your eyes through panes of blue
And there above the clouded sky
We know our swan will ever fly.

Tune of the Departing

Humming,
That single sound
Its melody monotonous
With its constant, and piercing ring
I attempt to open my eyes
Again and again
But there is only black
And swirls of vibrant colors
Yellow and red
My attention is drawn below
To my stilled limbs
Each finger buzzing
With a cold I do not understand
And still rings that single-pitched refrain
Drowning the faint voices outside
Low, muffled, and panicked
My heart should have raced
At the lithe touch of a cotton tarp
Falling over my stinging face
I strain my limbs to move
But they’re frozen in this nightmare
And I scream in my mind
As the cold overcomes
I’m alive!
I’m alive!
I’m alive!